Facebook Connections

Largely through the efforts of fellow writer, Patti Larsen, every second Tuesday of the month I will be writing as part of a “blophop.” This means multiple blogs will be writing about a common theme, thereby providing readers with different perspectives of one topic. It will enable you to hop to other sites and discover how other writers interpret the same subject. I hope you enjoy all the different viewpoints. This month’s topic is “New Connections.”

*   *   *   *

When I left my job to become a full-time writer almost a year ago, one of the questions I was asked over and over again was “Won’t you be  lonely without people around you everyday?” My answer was an unequivocal “No.” Being alone has never caused me to feel lonely. I am very comfortable with my own company, and if the number of new Facebook friends I’ve made over the past year is any indication, I’d say I have more people around me daily than I ever have! Each morning, I open up my laptop to write. Along with Word, my email program, and calendar, I also open up Facebook and Twitter. I am new to Twitter, but have been on Facebook for a few years. I use it as both a promotional tool and as a way to stay in touch with family, friends, and acquaintances.

Because Facebook is a virtual landscape, there are, of course, ways to conduct oneself which are different than with friendships in the “real” world.  Here are just some of my own etiquette rules for Facebook.

  1. I don’t “friend” anyone unless I know them, via some connection or referral, past or present.
  2. If I don’t accept someone’s friend request, I always send a private message to tell them why—just a courtesy.
  3. If I want something from someone, I say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ and I’m willing to accept if they don’t give it to me for whatever reason.
  4. For those who don’t know me personally, I try to be careful with what I say. As tone cannot be interpreted with the written word, I can’t be sure they will “get” my humor, sarcasm, or *ahem* dry wit.
  5. The ability to cast a wide net with Facebook is a double-edged sword. It’s great when I have good news to share, but I  never write any negative or venomous messages on the WALL.
  6. I enjoy reading about my friends, but I seldom make a comment. It’s not because I don’t care, but sometimes I feel it’s enough to observe without injecting my two cents. I like to give people their space.
  7. All my friends, old and new, know I will support causes that are meaningful to them, and if you didn’t know that, now you do. You need only ask (and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ of course).
  8. I keep all conversations that I consider sensitive, private, or confidential off Facebook, unless the other party is comfortable with CHAT or sending private messages.
  9. I reread what I write about five times before I send it, especially if sending to a big group of people – I hate reading bad grammar and spelling errors and don’t wish to subject others to mine.
  10. I make an effort to send a birthday wish to my friends on their birthdays.

I believe all friendships, if they are mutually desired (whether they are in person or on Facebook) deserve to be nurtured and respected.

Stay sexy,


To hop to other bloggers writing about this topic, click on their links below.

1. New Connections: Patti Larsen

2. Agents and Rushing Publishing: Nicole Williams

3. New Connections: Rebecca Bradley

4. Forging New Threads and New Connections: Annetta Ribken

5. Getting to Know You: Rebeca Schiller

6. Sole-Mate: India Drummond

7. New Connections: Social Networking and Writers’ Groups: Ruchira Mandal

8. Second Tuesday-New Connections: Alberta Ross

9. New Connections: Linda

10. New Connections: Gary Varner

11. Facebook Connections: Eden Baylee

12. Tuesday Review: Kira Morgana

13. Sunny Sings the Blues: Sunny

14. A Four-Noggin Nod to ‘Glass Cases’: Gale Martin



Filed under Writing Joint Ventures

22 responses to “Facebook Connections

  1. Thanks for the list of facebook manners – I follow some of them myself, though not all, but your list is very organized and helpful.


  2. I will accept friend requests from anyone. I then delete people if they’re obnoxious, but I have met some great people that way, and for myself, I want to stay open to new folks.

    I have one big rule for Facebook: It ain’t private. Don’t post anything you wouldn’t want your granny, SO, kids, boss, or lawyer to read… at least not under your real name. 🙂


  3. Very nice post Eden. Like India, I also accept friend requests from people I don’t know and it’s lead to some very nice online relationships. Facebook for me is where I can sound off on politics, as well as a promotional tool. But I also keep up with what’s happening to my friends. I live on a tiny island and it’s a long schlep to NYC so I get live vicariously through them and the fun stuff they do in the city.


  4. Those are great Facebook rules. I also tend to read more than comment and I often wonder if people think I don’t care because I don’t have all that much to say in the public forums. I do care, but I just don’t always feel a comment is necessary.

    I love the idea of a connected theme through many blogs. That is an excellent to get a lot of perspectives.


  5. It’s amazing how our online culture has developed–I often wonder if the rules of engagement are different on Facebook and Twitter than in the real world–Thanks for the insights, Eden!


    • Hi Patti, thanks for your comment. I do think Facebook and Twitter conduct is an art, and over time, some norms will develop. It’s always nice to be part of a new culture from the beginning.


  6. That’s a great list, Eden. I’m careful about accepting friend requests from people I don’t know, but that’s also due to family stuff. I’m fairly open and opinionated, but most people already know that about me and know what they’re in for 🙂 I am cautious about being too snarky, but I can’t help my personality. I do always try to be polite.

    It’s funny, because in “real life” situations I’m the quiet one in the corner observing, but on FB I jump right in.

    Great post!


  7. I like your list of etiquette for Facebook. I think more people should follow it, myself included.

    I don’t friend everyone that sends me a request, but I do “house cleaning” every once in a while.

    I don’t comment on everyone’s posts, etc., either. I do for a select group of friends and even then I don’t always have the time (or know what to say), so I read and move on.

    I try to be open and positive and bring my personality to the table. It’s easy to do that online when you’re shy in person. I know you understand that one. 🙂


  8. Great list of rules..I have met many fantastic people via facebook…I’ve also found old friends….Sites like facebook are a huge part of marketing yourself and your work…

    Great blog post Eden…


  9. I think it’s a great list Eden, I am definitely careful about what I post to my wall. I think people can tend to feel “anonymous” on the internet so can probably be a bit more vocal than they would be in real life (though obviously some people are really vocal in reality) and it can get you into a lot of trouble.

    I do love the social networking sites Fwitter and Facebook though and will continue to socialise on there 🙂


  10. Oops, I meant Twitter!


    • Hi Rebecca, thanks for commenting. I think you may be onto something there – Fwitter sounds like it could be a new social media site – sort of like Facebook with a limit of 140 characters per comment? 😉


  11. I like your list of do’s – when I first got on facebook I didn’t have a clue what was the polite way of doing things – sort of watched and tried to pick it up.

    I have made many new ‘friends’ on facebook but I do try and match at least one interest in common – I like to read their blogs and websites, interests books etc. I comment on about half of them because they either connect in some way (weird sense of humour!) or commenting on something I’ve a passion for (eco /enviromental matters) or because they are offering advice or a link that is interesting/useful.


  12. Hi Alberta, I do feel sometimes we are on the cutting edge of new technology, but there is no handbook to guide us on how to properly use it. I don’t have a cell phone, but I’m sure I wouldn’t be screaming into it in public. I see that all the time, and cell phones have been around for a lot longer than Facebook.
    Perhaps Facebook etiquette will take time to catch up, but in the meantime, I agree it is a wonderful tool to stay connected.
    I appreciate your comments.


  13. Pingback: New Connections | inkmusings

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